Obsessed Dragon

Moonlight Visit Happy Dance

2010-06-07T05:51:00.000-07:00

Moonlight Visit by Sandra Parlow (Kustom Krafts), stitched on Moonlighting by Sparklies.

To Blog or Not To Blog

2010-03-06T06:46:00.000-08:00

It was pointed out to me a little while ago that writing a blog compared to has-been, wannabe or struggling celebrities publishing books about their life. Didn't like that much so gave up blogging about personal stuff. I've been using Facebook to fill the gap but recent events have put a spanner in the works there.

I got a virtual slap on the wrist from one of exH older sons (who hardly ever uses FB) for publicy bad mouthing exH. ExHs exW#2 joined in, in full protecting-my-kids gear. After taking some time to think about how I would feel about seeing my Dad badmouthed on t'internet, I agreed to stop. Since then I've changed my privacy settings so that none of his 'children' can read my status.

It's got me reconsidering the beauty of blogging though. Here is the perfect place to let off steam without fear of recrimination.

So what have I been up to since the last time I blogged proper. Finished AAT NVQ3 a month ago. Started the course thinking that it was gonna be really hard and not sure if I was going to be able to finish it. Apart from a Costings exam from hell in November it went well. Luckily I passed the hellish exam, as did a whole load of other people who expected to fail, according to AAT discussion forum. I'm now looking for a job, with a view to starting NVQ4 one day a week course in September.

DDK10 (10th birthday was last weekend) spilled the beans over the big secret. Fella and I have been seeing each other for 19 months without exH knowledge... until K blurted it out very loudly when I dropped her off at her Dads a couple of weekends ago. Personally I'm glad the secret is out cos I find it difficult to keep secrets. Fella would have preferred it kept a secret until after my divorce but is OK. I think we feel more relaxed now and maybe a bit closer than before. I often wonder where the relationship is going, though I'm more than happy with the way it is. I love having my freedom and not having to worry about the mess my house is in. It's also a big relief not to have to worry about the effects that kids squabbles and mother/daughter disagreements could have on a relationship. And these are the things I bear in mind everytime I get to thinking about how much I miss fella during the week and how nice it would be to spend every evening and night together. I still think maybe, one day, when the kids are older...

My Dad whose personality had mellowed considerably over the past year, started getting confused. Confused enough to give us real concern at christmas time. Drs suspecting dimentia or mini strokes sent him for tests which revealed that he had inoperable brain tumour, mid January. A decision was made to go through radiotherapy. The full course of treatment would give him up to 12 months, but Drs didn't think he take take full course. The week before treatment was due to start, things got bad and Dad was admitted to hospital where they found that tumour had doubled in size. Dad passed away 22 February peacefully after two days in pallitive care.

Moonlight Visit progress

2010-02-02T02:39:00.001-08:00

Moonlight Visit by Sandra Parlow

2010-01-14T08:03:00.000-08:00

Stitched on Moonlighting by Sparklies

Freedom

2009-09-09T13:58:00.001-07:00

Pat Craven September 9 at 3:02pm Reply
To all women who feel as though no one is listening. If you want me to post your story on my blog on my web site http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk
please e mail me to freedomprogramme@btinternet.com. I will call the topic 'Please tell my story'. I will post all responses on the group wall.
Hugs to all Pat

When Pat Cravens message appeared in my Facebook message inbox, I thought; I’m not sure that I could write an account of what my life was like before I left exH 16 months ago. My life is so great now and I’ve put that other life behind me.
What I can do though is tell you about the magic moments I have in this life.
Text conversation between dbf and I today:
Me: Went to tesco to get butter. Came home with bagful of stuff. No butter lol x Felt compelled to share that with you cos it was something that XH would have made me out to be mentally deficient about but you’d understand lol x Just hope that you understand my compulsion for random rambling texts too lol xxx
Him: Understand because I too am a random shopper lol

It might not seem much but to me it’s wonderful. Because he does understand that going to Tesco for butter and coming home with a bagful of stuff and not what I went up for is a perfectly normal, acceptable thing to do. It happens, it’s not the end of the world, it doesn’t make me a mad, crazy person who is useless at everything. It’s funny and it makes me interesting. He is funny and interesting too. He is also tolerant, caring, independent, encouraging and accepts me for me. I don’t know if he realises how lucky I feel to have him as my friend. I still have some hang-ups. I get insecure and paranoid. Most of the time I am able to put these feelings into the correct perspective. Sometimes, like when sleep doesn’t find me, I don’t. He is wonderfully kind and patient and I feel silly but reassured.

Some nights I lie awake at night unable to sleep because I’m excited by my freedom , my hopes and plans for the future. I’m too high on life to sleep. If I panic about not being able to sleep because I have to get up in the morning, I stop and relish the fact that I am in my own bed and I don’t have to fear being woken in the night by the 1am ‘we have to talk’. He had to talk and I had to listen. Listen to an assassination of my character. Who wants to have sex with someone who can be so verbally cruel? They weren’t exactly ‘sweet nothings’. Vicious circle. I remember that being awake happy is better than forcing myself to sleep to block out my misery. I remember that tomorrow morning I’m going to wake up to my great life and not the dread of facing yet another day of misery and tedium, SSDD (same shit, different day).

I hardly ever watch films now. If I fancy some TV, I’ll put it on and channel hop until I find something to watch for a hour before having a bath and going to bed. Mostly though I’ll play on Facebook, listen to music or read a book. I get a fantastic moment of freedom because I can choose what I want to do and not have to go through the dreaded ‘choosing which film to watch this evening’ when I would have to try to guess what he wanted to watch and we would pretend that it was my choice, that is if I managed to choose correctly, if I was lucky.

It’s no big deal if we run out of anything, like milk for example. I just hope in my car and go get some. I passed my driving test once I regained my confidence and lost the intolerant ‘instructor’. I don’t have to go through the ‘ who’s gonna pay for it’ drama either.

Which brings me to money. My money; to keep track of; to spend on what is needed; to treat myself or the kids with, when I can afford it. No monthly panic at mortgage payment time. No accusations when the outgoings outweigh the incomings. No threats to do overtime when all it would mean is less child tax credit. No more miserable Christmases and birthdays with arguments over present buying. No more favouritism when his kids got expensive gifts and my kids got whatever I could afford after I finished paying the bills.

Birthdays… I don’t care if I never get another birthday card. It’s just a piece of card. Why get hot and bothered and panic about finding the perfect card in a card shop full of pushy people all looking for the perfect card. It didn’t matter what the words said, because they were written by someone else and didn’t come from his heart anyway. It’s pretentious. No more opening the card, reading it and then getting my reaction all wrong and putting up with him sulking all day.

I once stuck a poster on the kitchen cupboard that read “This house is clean enough to be healthy and untidy enough to be happy”. He didn’t approve but it stayed there. It didn’t stop him moaning about the house never being tidy enough. My house still isn’t tidy enough, but now it isn’t tidy enough for me. But there is more to life than constantly tidying up after other people or being a boring nag, so I keep it to a tolerable level. I have found that the kids will eventually tidy on their own accord when they feel the need or when they are bored enough.

I am studying at college with a plan to become qualified enough to support my family myself. I plan to be independent. I have hope. I have a future. I no longer feel useless. I have a purpose. I found freedom. I couldn’t have done it without my family and friends or without the Freedom Programme.

Happy Dancing

2009-09-05T11:15:00.000-07:00

Sunflowers

2009-09-05T11:14:00.000-07:00

Car boot sale bargains

2009-08-30T06:52:00.000-07:00

I nearly didn't go this morning after only four hours sleep. I'm glad I did :)

I was looking at this book...

...when the lady on the stall asked me if I stitched and asked me if I'd take a box of stitching stuff for a quid...

Upon examination at home I found a huge pile of Anchor, a big pile of DMC and the biggest surprise some Caron threads :D

Mum and I also went halves on a big box of classic books...

Garden

2009-08-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

I can't remember whether this was a hot pepper or a sweet pepper lol

This is the view of my front garden taken looking out of the window.

Sunflowers

Stitching Update

2009-08-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

AAT certificate... already :D

2009-08-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

I passed!

2009-08-18T04:54:00.000-07:00

Quick update on how things are going.

Exam result for AAT Foundation came by email last night and snail mail this morning. I PASSED! :D :D

Not a huge surprise lol The external exam was way easier than the internal skills tests I have been doing throughout the course and I passed all those, so the exam was not really anything to worry about.

This means that I can now go on to do AAT Intermediate. I have already applied for the course, got funding from the colleges Learner Support Fund for most of the course fee and filled in paperwork with Lone Parent Advisor for funding for the remainder of the course fee, exam fees and travel expenses. This LPA seems much more efficient than the last one who f***ed it up and left me having to fund the course myself.

Driving is going well. I drove to Longleat and Alton Towers last week :)

I've been spending lots of time in the garden. Gardening seems to be my latest obsession. I have to keep reminding myself to pick up some stitching.

I've had to go through the tough decision on turning my back on DDK9's school which is threatened with closure and moving her to a school closer to us. It makes sense but I feel like a traiter.

I've been seeing my fella for a year :D :D

DDK9 has gone to Kefalonia with her Dad for two weeks :( This is day one :(

On the whole, life is very good :D :D :D

Fractal #99 Stitching Update

2009-08-18T04:51:00.000-07:00

Dyrham Park

2009-08-18T04:21:00.000-07:00

http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-dyrhampark

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyrham_Park

http://www.theheritagetrail.co.uk/stately%20homes/dyrham_park.htm

Garden Pics

2009-08-18T03:39:00.000-07:00

Alton Towers

2009-08-16T14:01:00.000-07:00

Congo Rapids

Flume

Nemesis

Air

Spinball Wizard

Oblivion

Gardens

Waterfall Walk, Pontneddfechan

2009-08-16T13:24:00.000-07:00

Pontneddfechan Waterfalls Centre

http://naturalhighs.net/waterfalls/falls00/ystradfellte.htm

Sgwd Gwladus

Horseshoe Falls

Sgwd Clun Gwyn

Sgwd-yr-Elra

Tattoo Dragon Happy Dance

2009-08-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

This was part of a Secret Santa present.

The colours reminded me of some quilting I saw at the weekend GTG I went to a couple of months ago, so I bought some fabby with an idea to make some kind of patchwork bag. I'm not too sure what to do with it atm lol

Stitching Update

2009-07-16T01:42:00.000-07:00

Fractal #99 by Cross Stitch Collectables.

Moonlight Visit by Sandra Parlow. Stitched on Moonlighting by Sparklies.

Tattoo Dragon designed by my secret santa Christmas 2008.

Banksy v's Bristol Museum

2009-07-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

Hampton Court Palace

2009-07-07T14:12:00.000-07:00

Ouroborus Happy Dance!

2009-05-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

Gardening

2009-04-29T11:07:00.000-07:00

I've been bitten by the gardening bug. Maybe it's because I was stuck in a flat with no garden all summer last year, or maybe cos I've seen me mum growing lots of stuff over the years. I think it's cos I have my own garden with no one to tell me what I can or can't do in it. Anyhow, the bug has bitten and I have the urge to grow stuff. I haven't a clue what I'm doing but getting lots of help, advice (and plants) from mum :)

And hiding behind the honeysuckle is my other latest obsession :) :)

Dragondreams Happy Dance!

2009-04-13T07:12:00.001-07:00

Yay! I finished something!! :D This has been hanging around for ages...

.

2009-03-28T17:54:00.001-07:00

.

2009-03-28T17:52:00.001-07:00

Zip Slide

2009-03-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

Life Is Pretty Darn Good

2009-03-28T16:37:00.000-07:00

If anyone had told me this time last year that life could be this good, I would have given them a withered look, hehe.

The big plan for a better life took a huge step forward this week.

First of all, I passed my AAT unit 1 skills test. It's the first one of many exams in store for me over the next year, but a huge confidence boost. I started college, only half believing that I could cope with an accountancy course. Halfway through the course, I find that I'm coping with it miles better than anyone else in the class! lol I'm determined to get qualified enough to never have to rely on, be dependant on or 'sponge off' (as I was frequently told) anyone, ever again. I want to be independant, self reliant or if I do ever settle down with anyone in the future it will be as an equal partnership.

I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST! I can hardly believe I did it! I have to keep reminding myself, I did it!

Lastly, and not part of the original plan, hehe, but a big step to freedom nonetheless, I took part in a sponsored zip slide for charity. A bit of rebellion cos I would never have been allowed to do something like it, so I did it because I could, and also for charity of course, haha. Videos to follow.

I Must Be Nuts!!!

2009-03-17T12:30:00.000-07:00

I am planning to slide down a long, high up zip wire down the sea wall in the Avon Gorge on Saturday 28th March!

The Precious Drops Campaign aims to raise £250,000 to set up a human milk bank at
Southmead Hospital and keep it running and equipped. The Bristol Milk Bank will be based at Southmead’s Maternity Unit and will supply donor breast milk to babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Units at Southmead and St Michael’s in Bristol (run by United Bristol Healthcare Trust).

Milk banks supply donor breast milk to babies in neonatal intensive care units. The milk, collected from healthy screened mothers who have a plentiful supply, is then tested and heat treated. The milk is then given to special care babies whose mothers cannot supply their own milk.

Donations can also be made via the Just Giving website and the Precious Drops Campaign has its own page at
http://www.justgiving.com/preciousdropscampaign

http://www.preciousdropscampaign.com/

Fractal Happy Dance

2009-02-03T12:10:00.000-08:00

Fractal #149 is finished. This one stitched up really fast lol

Snow

2009-02-02T10:57:00.000-08:00

Now, I have to say I wasn't too thrilled this morning when I looked out and saw that it was snowing. lol I had a two hour driving lesson booked to go drive around the test route and snow was the last thing I needed. It didn't look too bad but then my driving instructor phoned to say that he was going to be late cos a wheel bearing needed changing. By the time he turned up the snow was thick. Luckily the roads in Bristol were Okay.

I kinda got excited about the snow when the kids got home from school though.

Fractal #149 Progress

2009-01-26T12:11:00.000-08:00

Fractal #149 Stitching Progress

2009-01-22T02:26:00.000-08:00

Fractal #149 Stitching Progress

2009-01-17T06:45:00.000-08:00

Fractal #149 Progress

2009-01-10T05:39:00.000-08:00

My Stitching Haven

2009-01-10T05:37:00.000-08:00

The reason why I have been so happy and relaxed enough to stitch lately lol

Fractal #149 Progress

2009-01-07T03:52:00.000-08:00

Fractal #149

2009-01-02T05:22:00.000-08:00

I'm stitching! :D I've got my teeth into a new start. Fractal #149.

Bye Bye Woolworths, It Was Nice Knowing You

2008-12-29T14:11:00.000-08:00

November 10, 2003 was my first day of freedom. It was the day I started working for Woolworths. The job gave me friends and confidence.

Today I had to say goodbye. :(

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-26T04:10:00.000-08:00

We've just had the best Christmas Day for years! :D

Fractal #141 Framed

2008-12-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

Well... almost. I still need to get some glass cut. This is my first adventure into making my own frame and I'm quite pleased with the result. I hope that it's recipient will be pleased too.

Noahs Ark finished and framed

2008-12-11T08:16:00.001-08:00

Time To Catch Up

2008-12-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know this blog has been quiet lately. I haven't stitched on anything for ages and life has been busy. I have been very quiet on a personal level for a long time too, but maybe now is a good time to spill some beans.

I left my husband six months ago, after years of unhappiness. After moaning about him and boring you all to the point where you were probably shouting at your monitor "For F***s sake, leave him!", I finally did. It felt great being free and at first while the weather was still nice, the two bedroom flat was great too. But as winter crept in, the lack of central heating and the noise from the selfish noctornal TV watching woman downstairs, things started looking not so great. We were overcrowded, cold and tired.

Then about a month before my six month lease was due to expire, with my landlady keen for me to take the flat on for another six months, and me feeling depressed at the thought of another six months in the flat, the letting agent I had signed up with phoned with details of two houses where the landlords had decided to take DSS in order to shift them. I looked at both and chose one closest to DDKs school.

After a couple of weeks of uncertainty, it turned out that the landlord had let the house to someone else without telling the letting agency. Just about to fall into despair, I learn that the other house is still available. It wasn't my first choice, as the smallest room has a problem that I am working around and it's further from DDKs school (but she is cycling and locking her bike up at school).

We moved in a week ago and I am so glad that we had this house now. I love it! And its directly opposite the woods I love walking in.

Fireplace in living room

Dining room. Still sorting things out and living around boxes.

View of the hill at the top of the woods taken from my bedroom window. (Not a good pic)

The best thing is that it's a five minute walk from the house of the chap I'm seeing (Shh, I didn't say that) lol

Ruby Grace Elizabeth arrived weighing 9lb 2oz on 17 November. My brother and his SO are remembering how much hard work newborns are. :D

I have to rediscover my stitching mojo so that I can finish her birth sampler.

Mediation has finished and the Deed of Separation signed. I am officially separated. :D

Wapley Bushes Nature Reserve

2008-10-16T01:23:00.000-07:00

Went for a walk with my camera on Saturday.

"This Local Nature Reserve contains flower-rich meadows with wonderful displays of colour in spring and summer. There is an ancient woodland with a good mix of trees including oaks and ash trees. Underneath these are smaller trees and shrubs like hawthorn, hazel, field maple and holly.
Explore the woodland throughout the year and you will discover a great variety of plants from bluebells to ferns. The woodland and meadows and the hedgerows that link the two together are home to a great number of birds, mammals and insects. The site is an important habitat for local wildlife and therefore is an excellent place to visit to study nature."

~ South Gloucestershire Council website

Wapley Bushes Nature Reserve blog

St Peters Church, Wapley

Top of the hill overlooking my town, St Marys church in centre of photo

Noahs Ark Progress

2008-10-08T05:50:00.000-07:00

Nearly finished, just got to wait for baby to be born now so I can add birth details.

Good Enough ~ Evanescence

2008-10-04T09:41:00.001-07:00

Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough for you.

Drink up sweet decadence.
I can't say no to you,
And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough.
It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

So take care what you ask of me,
'cause I can't say no.

Noahs Ark Stitching Progress

2008-10-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

Lone Parent Advisor Part 2

2008-09-22T04:17:00.000-07:00

So, because the money hadn't gone out of the bank for the ECDL course, I got onto the college and they agreed to hold off on taking the payment until I asked the LPA about having it paid for me. That was on Wednesday but I didn't manage to get hold of the LPA until this morning. She said tell the college to take the money and she would have the money put into my account. Hang on. I swear she told me that they couldn't reinburse me after I had paid it.

See if you can keep up with this. When I went to see her the first time and I had booked and paid for the course, they couldn't pay it. But now I have already seen her once and it is on record that we have discussed training and I have contacted her again about the course, now they can pay it. I was flumoxed, so she said it again.
"Yes, I understand what you are saying, you couldn't agree to have it paid the first time, but now you can. I just don't understand why." So she went into again and I'm none the wiser except that I understand that I can tell the college to take the payment and I will get it back from the jobcentre.

That was the first hurdle. Onto the second, the Sage accounting course. The only college offering Sage is City Of Bristol and it's on an evening in the centre of Bristol which is no good to me. Filton haven't offered the course for 2 or 3 years. Both colleges offer the AAT NVQ during the day which I can manage. The only other way I can do the Sage is buying a home learning course. The LPA thought that was a bad idea. Then, hurrah, she suggests I do the NVQ first and then the Sage later on when I have passed my driving test and have a car.

Apparently you can only apply for funding for one course per year. The ECDL is being payed as a one off out of office funds because it is a small amount, local with no transport or childcare fees. I should enrol for the NVQ which starts in February and apply for funding for that. In the meantime I have to ask the college if I can apply for a hardship grant.

So, this morning I'm feeling quite positive, as though I am actually getting somewhere, even though there's a lot of confusion along the way. lol

40th Wedding Anniversary

2008-09-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

Happy 40th Anniversary Mum and Dad

Lone Parent Advisor

2008-09-16T05:13:00.000-07:00

I did finally get in touch with the Lone Parent Advisor at the Jobcentre. I was told that I had had an appointment back in June which I had not kept. Probably because nobody ever told me about it. So I made a new appointment for yesterday and toddled off there for a chat.

She was surprised that I had contacted them and was there of my own accord rather than someone who had been summoned. So, don't lone parents want to make something of themselves then? I don't want to sit on my bum on benefits until I'm told "You've had enough hand outs, go and get a job!". I want to spend the next couple of years getting as well trained as I can, so that I can earn a decent wage for when I do have to support myself without help. Also I have spent most of my life being dependant on a husband and being made to feel like a sponger. I don't want that ever again. Even if I were to settle down/cohabit/marry again I want to be independant and provide for my own kids. She was also surprised that I work nine hours a week when I don't have to. She pointed out that I was effectively working for twenty quid a week. I don't look at it that way. I see it as earning a wage so that the government doesn't have to give me as much.

So, I found out that I can have course fees, transport and childcare fees paid for me. I also found out that I shouldn't have paid the course fee for the ECDL course I just paid for, doh! oh well, too late, chalk that one up to experience. As I was an accounts clerk in my life before kids, she advised that I take a Sage Accounting course. OK, that sounds good. I can only find one course at one college in central Bristol on a Monday evening. Not so good. I don't fancy public transport into and out of the city and the walk to the bus station at gone 9pm. It's too late to get back for the kids too. I looked online and you can buy Sage courses to do at home, so I'll have to find out if they'll pay for that.

Looking through the college course books though, I thought, why not go the whole hog, forget the Sage and do the NVQs 2, 3 and 4. I can do the crash course of 18 weeks for NVQ 2, 3 days a week, move the ECDL which is local, from the Friday morning to Monday evening and drop a shift at work. Then move on to the next two levels. Should take a couple of years. The NVQ starts in February so I've got until then to procrastinate. lol I wonder why the LPA didn't advise the NVQ though?

Stitching Progress

2008-09-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

Noahs Ark by Tina Wenke, CrossStitcher magazine issue 195.

For new nephew or neice due in November. :)

Stitching Progress

2008-09-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

Dracolair Ouroborus

Most of the whole stitch done. I've ran out of a couple of colours, so had to stop until I can get down to Hobbycraft again.

X & Y - Coldplay

2008-09-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

Trying hard to speak and
Fighting with my weak hand
Driven to distraction
It's all part of the plan
When something is broken
and you try to fix it
Trying to repair it anyway you can

I dive in at the deep end
and you become my best friend
I want to love you but I don’t know if I can
I know something is broken
and I’m trying to fix it
Trying to repair it anyway I can

Oooohh, oooohh
Oooohh, oooohh

You and me are floating on a tidal wave… together
You and me are drifting into outer space
and singing

Oooohh, oooohh

You and me are floating on a tidal wave… together
You and me are drifting into outer space
You and me are floating on a tidal wave… together
You and me are drifting into outer space
and singing

Oooohh, oooohh
Oooohh, oooohh

New Deal For Lone Parents

2008-09-05T03:09:00.000-07:00

New deal for lone parents
New Deal is a government strategy for getting people back into work. A lone parent, whose youngest child is under 16, and is either not working or is working under 16 hours a week, can get help under the New Deal for Lone Parents scheme. There is access to a Personal Adviser, who will advise what funding is available towards course fees, travel, and childcare. He or she will be there as a contact throughout the whole New Deal programme.

It's their job to:

Get to know a little about the parent so you end up with a job you can enjoy
Calculate how much better off you could be in a job
Discuss with the parent what kind of job you would like to get
Draw up an action plan to help you get that job
Help you look and apply for suitable jobs
Help you find training opportunities
Help you find and organise registered childcare
Help you with expenses that may occur during your job search
Explain which benefits you will be entitled to once you start work
Continue to offer the parent help and advice even after you have found work.

Sounds great doesn't it? It would be even better if I could get them to answer the darn phone!

Bad Marriage - A Life Lesson

2008-09-05T01:22:00.000-07:00

A friend recently asked me "Why did I stay in my marriage for so long?" My answer was because I didn't know how to leave. And that was the main reason. I can remember countless times finding myself at the end of my tether and thinking "If I had somewhere to go, I'd be gone". That was my main excuse for not going.

I can't say that I regret the last ten years. I wouldn't have DDK8 for one thing. But also despite being unhappy for so long, I have learned a great deal. I have learned what it is like being on the receiving end of passive agressive behaviour and re-evaluated the way I treat people myself. I think that the experience has made me a better person and that maybe I was supposed to endure it as sort of a life lesson. Instead of acting so much on impulse, I take time to think about what to say to people before I say it, I have become less selfish, less hot headed, more thoughtful.

There are traits that have been repressed that I may revert back to though. I still have a sarcastic sense of humour, I'm still a disorganised untidy person, although cleaner and more house proud than before. Most important I feel, is that I have rediscovered my sense of fun.

I have vowed never to marry again. Most would probably think that's because I couldn't trust another man again. Some might think that if the right one came along and after a long time of learning about him and being sure and be able to trust again, that that might change. At the moment, it's mostly because I don't want to risk putting my girls through another step family situation. But in truth, it's because I'm scared that with a decent bloke, without the control I have endured, I might go back to being the person I don't like.

DDJ is 13!

2008-09-03T16:01:00.000-07:00

Berkeley Castle

2008-08-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

http://www.berkeley-castle.com/

Stitching Update

2008-08-24T10:22:00.001-07:00

No car boots sales this morning. We had heavy rain so the ground was too wet and they got cancelled.

Here is Mirabilia Bliss Fairy. She's almost finished. I've got to get the magnifica beads from somewhere.

TW Sun Dragon with added sparkle.

I've been to Hobbycraft and got some more foamcore board. Here is Dragondreams Not Forgotten framed at last.

Stitching Progress

2008-08-19T13:59:00.000-07:00

Ouroboros

Sun Dragon

Ouroboros progress

2008-08-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

Stitching Updates

2008-08-07T06:19:00.000-07:00

This wasn't on my list of August goals but it nagged me. A Knowing Glance, magazine design.

A new start. Ouroborus by Dracolair. Fabby is slightly lilac by Sparklies.

Another new start with not much to show as yet. Sun Dragon by Teresa Wentzler.

Free From The Fractal! Happy Dancing!

2008-08-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

Emerald Mermaid Happy Dance!

2008-07-25T05:51:00.000-07:00

She is finished!

Stitching Progress

2008-07-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

I've had some computer problems so posts are sporadic.

I've worked on Emerald Mermaid until my beads ran out. I've just made my first ever purchase on ebay (yay me!) so hopefully I'll have this finished soon.

I've been somewhat obsessively stitching on the Fractal. I want it finished so my stash can have all it's colours back and I can start something new.

This is what I'm working on now.

HD For DD

2008-07-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

DD16 finished something! Yay!! This was started about three or four years ago and only part of one leg was stitched before she lost interest and put it away. She suddenly decided to get it out again and after just three days of solid stitching she finished it!

Stitching Progress

2008-06-30T05:56:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted progress pics. I have been working on Fractal #141 for the last three weeks.

I'm giving it a rest while I work on Emerald Mermaid.

I've actually frogged the beads in this pic and started again, stitching them on with a half cross instead of a full one, so that they fit better. I was planning on finishing her but I think that I'm going to run out of the ivory beads. I'll do as much as the beading as I can and then go back to the Fractal. I want to finish it because it uses so many colours, I'm getting mixed up if I stitch on something else or start something new, robbing Peter to pay Paul. I want to get it out of the way, so that I can start something new. I want to get most of my WIPs out of the way and start afresh.

Prom Night

2008-06-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

Prom Dress Progress

2008-06-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

Not too much more to do now. Sew in the zipper proper and then attach the lining.

Bliss Fairy Progress

2008-06-10T15:34:00.000-07:00

Progress on bliss up to a week ago. I haven't stitched on anything for a week, cos I've been too busy. I picked up some stitching tonight. Currently stitching on the fractal.

New Life, New Stitching Corner

2008-06-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

My blog has been quiet of late. I've been busy. I finally found a way and the courage to leave. I'm not going to spout a load of personal stuff, but I will show you a pic of my new stitching corner!

Prom Dress Progress

2008-05-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

Fabric is crepe back satin in a gorgeous purple that this pic doesn't do justice.

This is the pattern.

Lady Of Shallot Progress

2008-05-13T03:45:00.000-07:00

Blaise Castle Estate

2008-05-13T02:29:00.000-07:00

Walk down into the valley, which lies at the bottom of the hill on the other side and one can soon see Goram's Soap Dish by the Henbury Trym. Looking up from here to the right of the rock face and carved into the rocks is the shape of a chair, known as Goram's Chair. Here, the legend is that Goram and Vincent, (Ghyston), both fell in love with Avona, (Avolon), a Wiltshire born merry bell. Avona promised to marry the giant who could first drain the great lake, which then stretched from Bradford-on-Avon to Rownham Hill. Goram chose to dig his way through the Henbury Hills, while Vincent opted for the Durdham Downs. The work was hot and thirsty and Goram, having drunk a little to much beer, soon fell asleep in his favourite stone-winged chair. Vincent furiously dug his way through to Sea Mills and so claimed the fair Avona. Avona gave her name to Vincent's Avon Gorge, while poor old Goram, his heart broken, hurled himself into the Severn where his head and shoulder can still be seen poking out of the mud as Flat Holm and Steep Holm.

http://www.themodernantiquarian.com/post/55887/weblog/

Gorams Soap dish

Gorams Chair

View from Gorams Chair, looking down on Gorams Soap Dish

View from Gormas Chair

Rustic Cottage

Iris

2008-05-13T02:28:00.001-07:00

Bliss Fairy Progress

2008-05-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

Forgot to post progress pic. Playing catch-up.

Bluebells

2008-05-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

New Start - Mirabilia Bliss Fairy

2008-04-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

Celestial Dragon Happy Dance!

2008-03-14T03:03:00.000-07:00

I attached the last bead last night!! It's finished!! Yay!!!!

Branscombe, Devon

2008-03-10T03:24:00.000-07:00

With a hurricane forcast for last night, we thought that we would go to the beach for the day yesterday in the hope to see some rough sea. So we wrapped up warm and headed for Branscombe, which is where salvage from the MSC Napoli was washed up in January last year. The beach is cleaned up now but half of the wreck is still lying in Lyme Bay. The sea wasn't as rough as hoped but we did get to see some amazing sudden changes in the weather, from bright sunshine, then clouding over really dark, soaked in a hail storm, the wreck surrounded with mist and then back to bright sunshine again.

New Start - Dragondreams Dragon Of The Winter Moon

2008-01-16T03:49:00.000-08:00

Because it is Guilt free January I am having a couple of new starts. The first is Dragondreams Dragon Of The Winter Moon, companion piece to Dragon of The Summer Sky started last year. I have had both kitted up together for a while, however, upon starting this one I discovered that the fabrics are different counts. Dumb mistake. I think that they will look Okay staggered rather than side to side on the wall. (That is if they ever get framed and on the wall.) Fabby is 32 count Belfast, Passion by The Blended Needle. This one is trickier to stitch, using rayon on 32 count fabby.

It's Curtains For The Lady Of Shallot

2007-12-03T05:24:00.000-08:00

Ta-da! Curtains...

Lyme Regis, Dorset

2007-09-04T05:12:00.000-07:00

Bank Holiday Monday, 27th August.

Durdle Door, Man Of War and Lulworth Cove, Dorset

2007-09-04T04:47:00.000-07:00

Saturday 25th August.

Man Of War

Durdle Door

BBC panaramic view of Man of War and Durdle Door.

Lulworth Cove

Stair Hole
The coastguard was called out because these lads were suspected of trying to 'tomb-stone' from the top. Luckily it was a false alarm. They were only jumping from the top of the cave mouth. Only a week before a lad jumped from the top of Durdle Door and put himself into intensive care, so the coastguard had to take the call seriously.

Bucket and spade tree

I took this photo for DDL15s Art and textile coursework.

Plymouth

2007-08-21T02:40:00.000-07:00

We went to have a look at Plymouth as we hadn't been there before. DH wasn't impressed. It was probably something to do with us getting stuck in traffic. Smeatons Tower and The Royal Citidel were quite cool though.

Thurlestone

2007-08-20T15:59:00.000-07:00

Apparently you cannot say that you have been to Thurlestone until you have touched Thurlestone Rock. So DH and I left the girls digging on the beach and tackled the slimy seaweed strewn rocks and pools to get to the rock before the tide came in.

Welcome To Teignmouth!

2007-08-20T08:10:00.000-07:00

When travelling through Devon on the train, you will be greeted by a giant toblerone bar informing you that you have reached Teignmouth.

Caen Hill Lock

2007-07-21T11:07:00.001-07:00

DDL15 and DDJ11 have gone away with their grandparents this weekend. (XFIL 70th birthday party). DH wanted to go somewhere today but as the weather forecast wasn't great, we didn't want to go too far. So DH, DDK7 and I went to Caen Hill Lock near Devizes.

We walked down the hill to the bottom and on the way back up the heavens opened and we got absolutely drenched!

Other news: DDL15 did her weeks work experience in Woolworths this week. My bosses were so impressed with her that they gave her a gift voucher and offered her a Saturday job when she turns 16! I am a very proud Mum! :D

DDJ11 had her Prom. I can hardly believe that she is leaving primary school next week! Here she is all dressed up.

Pembrokeshire Coast National Park

2007-07-16T04:41:00.000-07:00

On Saturday we visited Pembrokeshire Coast National Park and Stackpole Estate. We started at Stackpole Quay, walked along the coast path to Barafundle Bay. After lunch we drove to Bosherston and walked around the Lily ponds to the beach at Broadhaven. We then drove on past St Govans Head and visited St Govans Chapel at Chapel Cove. Unfortunately the program I use to upload my photos 'not responded' and I lost all but one of the photos of the Chapel. :( We had tea in Tenby before setting off for home.

Stackpole Quay and The Coastline

Barafundle Bay

Bosherston Lily Ponds

Broad Haven

St Govan's Chapel

Found in Tenby

Tyndale Monument

2007-07-09T04:21:00.000-07:00

Tyndale Monument is at the top of a hill in North Nibly, near Wotton-Under-Edge, Gloucestershire.

ERECTED A.D. 1866
IN GRATEFUL REMEMBRANCE OF
WILLIAM TYNDALE
TRANSLATOR OF THE ENGLISH BIBLE
WHO FIRST CAUSED THE NEW TESTAMENT
TO BE PRINTED IN THE MOTHER TONGUE
OF HIS COUNTRYMEN
BORN NEAR THIS SPOT HE SUFFERED
MARTYRDOM AT VILVORDEN IN
FLANDERS ON OCT 6 1536

View of the River Severn and both Severn crossings.

Dark, narrow and scary steps.

I Don't Know Where We're At Now

2007-07-07T04:07:00.000-07:00

We seem to be bouncing between 'Mr Nice-guy' and 'Mr What's The Point, I hate my life, nobody loves me'. I think he is scared because he is 60 next year. He has brought up the boys to walk all over him and now he doesn't like it. He is bored and he is jealous that I have a hobby. Anyway, he cried a lot yesterday. Today things seem a bit strained but almost 'normal'. I don't really know what's going on.

Frustrated

2007-07-05T13:18:00.000-07:00

Mr Nice-Guy is back.

State Of Play

2007-07-05T01:31:00.001-07:00

We have established that neither of us is happy in the marriage. We have also both stated our non-intention of leaving.

He says that it is HIS house and he won't leave it. He says that he is too old to start over again. I say that I have a right to stay in the house until DDK7 is 18.

He has said a lot of other stuff too. I sit and say nothing because there is no point.

Why Don't I Leave?

2007-07-03T04:18:00.000-07:00

"Why Don't Battered Women Leave?"
OK - I'm not actually battered, but the answers are near enough the same for mental/emotional abuse.

Womens Aid - Housing options
Don't make it easy do they?

Stourhead House And Gardens, Wiltshire

2007-07-02T04:07:00.000-07:00

It is Mums 60th birthday tomorrow. To celebrate Dbro and family and my gang took Mum and Dad to Stourhead for the day.

The House.

Entering the grotto.

Neptune

Outside of the grotto from across the lake

'Please do not feed the ducks' Ooops!

Brownsea Island

2007-06-25T02:54:00.000-07:00

Saturday, DH, the girls and I took Mum and Dad to Brownsea Island. This is a 1 1/2 mile long island owned by The National Trust in Poole Harbour, Dorset. It is the birthplace of scouting and guiding. This year is the centenary of scouting, being 100 years since Lord Baden Powell held his first experientary scout camp on the island.

How the other half live:

I had been oogling a yummy looking chap in one of these back gardens far too much for the thought to occur to me that he might 'be someone' and take a photo. Afterwards I learned that he is/was a well known footballer. The name Jamie Redknapp meant nothing to me, not knowing anything about football. But sure enough this is he.

Weymouth And Portland

2007-06-18T05:19:00.000-07:00

We went on another adventure on Saturday. This time was without Mum and Dad. We took one of DDJ11s friends with us.

Weymouth

Portland Bill

View of Chesil Beach

Weekend Get-Together.

2007-06-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

I escaped this weekend to Derbyshire for a stitchers GTG. Sixteen stitchers from all over the UK in three cottages. We had a wonderful time and some great laughs.

Evidence that I made it to Wye Needlecrafts in Bakewell - at last! I am now an honourary member of the Bakewell Tarts! lol

Results of Sundays Dying class ran by Kate from Sparklies.

My fabby after rinsing, dried and ironed.

Hopefully, one day it will look something like this:

I bought some DMC rayon, one of which currently looks like this:

I spent the weekend stitching on this:

You will have to wait to see what I am doing with my solitaire thread from Sparklies. Heehee.

Three Cliffs Bay

2007-06-04T03:45:00.000-07:00

Bank holiday Monday (26th May) we went on another daytrip with Mum and Dad. This time we went to Three Cliffs Bay on the Gower coast in Wales. (see also) The weather was forecast to be rainy but although we had a smattering early on (picture four adults and three children huddled under coats in a small beach tent willing it to go away) it soon turned out nice.

Pennard Castle.

The last picture was an unexpected bonus. The Waverley is the last sea faring paddle steamer in the world.