Saturday, March 6, 2010

To Blog or Not To Blog

It was pointed out to me a little while ago that writing a blog compared to has-been, wannabe or struggling celebrities publishing books about their life. Didn't like that much so gave up blogging about personal stuff. I've been using Facebook to fill the gap but recent events have put a spanner in the works there.

I got a virtual slap on the wrist from one of exH older sons (who hardly ever uses FB) for publicy bad mouthing exH. ExHs exW#2 joined in, in full protecting-my-kids gear. After taking some time to think about how I would feel about seeing my Dad badmouthed on t'internet, I agreed to stop. Since then I've changed my privacy settings so that none of his 'children' can read my status.

It's got me reconsidering the beauty of blogging though. Here is the perfect place to let off steam without fear of recrimination.

So what have I been up to since the last time I blogged proper. Finished AAT NVQ3 a month ago. Started the course thinking that it was gonna be really hard and not sure if I was going to be able to finish it. Apart from a Costings exam from hell in November it went well. Luckily I passed the hellish exam, as did a whole load of other people who expected to fail, according to AAT discussion forum. I'm now looking for a job, with a view to starting NVQ4 one day a week course in September.

DDK10 (10th birthday was last weekend) spilled the beans over the big secret. Fella and I have been seeing each other for 19 months without exH knowledge... until K blurted it out very loudly when I dropped her off at her Dads a couple of weekends ago. Personally I'm glad the secret is out cos I find it difficult to keep secrets. Fella would have preferred it kept a secret until after my divorce but is OK. I think we feel more relaxed now and maybe a bit closer than before. I often wonder where the relationship is going, though I'm more than happy with the way it is. I love having my freedom and not having to worry about the mess my house is in. It's also a big relief not to have to worry about the effects that kids squabbles and mother/daughter disagreements could have on a relationship. And these are the things I bear in mind everytime I get to thinking about how much I miss fella during the week and how nice it would be to spend every evening and night together. I still think maybe, one day, when the kids are older...

My Dad whose personality had mellowed considerably over the past year, started getting confused. Confused enough to give us real concern at christmas time. Drs suspecting dimentia or mini strokes sent him for tests which revealed that he had inoperable brain tumour, mid January. A decision was made to go through radiotherapy. The full course of treatment would give him up to 12 months, but Drs didn't think he take take full course. The week before treatment was due to start, things got bad and Dad was admitted to hospital where they found that tumour had doubled in size. Dad passed away 22 February peacefully after two days in pallitive care.